Divorced With Kids – Online Dating With Baggage
Not everyone made it through a failed marriage with a clean slate, and some may have gone through a good deal of trouble to hold on to what most refer to as ‘baggage’. Therefore, whichever side of the dating table you’re sitting in, the divorc?(e) or the suitor, or both, there are a few things to consider before dating.
First of all, divorce isn’t the end of the world, especially nowadays, when a third of all marriages in the US end in divorce by their 20th anniversary, and this considering a good deal of people chooses to cohabit rather than marry. This should come as no surprise since, let’s face it, marriage isn’t the most popular social institution and it hasn’t been for a while. It follows logically that a divorce is nothing to be ashamed of; in fact the lessons learned are unparalleled and life-changing, so be proud of what you’ve accomplished.
You’d think having one child or more is like deadweight dragging you down to the bottom of the sea, but you could still be swimming up there with the rest of them. Settling for whoever comes first isn’t really in your best interest, especially if you have children. So wait it out until you feel that the time is right for you, for your child and for your admirer. Timing is everything in a relationship.
Children are impressionable and can become attached quite easily, therefore think twice before introducing your girlfriend or boyfriend to them. Most people are completely oblivious to the fact that children understand everything that goes on around them from an early age and will probably hold a grudge against anyone trying to intervene between their natural parents. So whether you have high hopes for your current relationship or not, wait it out until the child shows signs of being ready to meet your sweetheart.
Caring for a child can interfere with your plans, which is something an independent and baggage-free suitor may not expect to happen. And low and behold, a fever or a day-long tooth pain stops you from going to that concert you’d both been dying to see and so come the arguments. Finding a balance between your duty toward your child and your admirer’s plans can make or break a relationship, so set out your priorities beforehand, communicate them clearly and stick to them.
Moreover, you should be understanding and considerate toward your companion, because their situation is complicated, as well. Here they are, trying to fend off an adverse reaction from the child, your former partner and even from you; because let’s face it, you have a tendency to be overprotective toward your child when you sense imminent change, which is only natural.
On the other hand, having a bit more experience in matters of the heart and even having children can give you the upper hand in your new relationship. There are people out there who have an innate ability to care for and to nurture children, there are some who would give their right arm for a child and are unable to have one and there are others who learn to love children along the way. Others simply don’t want to have to go through the sleepless nights and the nappy changing part of having children and would rather have the finished product. It’s all so very circumstantial, but in time, your suitor and child could become inseparable.
Whatever your current predicament, choosing a partner for the long-term doesn’t have to be a daunting task and it’s best to let things flow naturally, as long as your relationship with your children doesn’t stand to suffer. In the end, relationships have a way of working out for the best. Mr. or Mrs. Right can still be out there waiting, so don’t refrain from putting out feelers. Admittedly, Mr./Mrs. Right-er is more appropriate in this case, but you get the drift.
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